The truth is I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t.

I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over: I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself, or fool himself, or convince others of it. The only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad.”